Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
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