Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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