A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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