stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
