Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26