too bad you live with your parents still
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up