i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.