we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar