Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I wannas sexs uuuuu
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
