I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
