She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
