my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Life is so much better after having sex.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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