are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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