I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
