office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
