just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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