So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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