She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
