sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
