I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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