I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
