..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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