and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize