so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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