My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
