sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
