She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
