Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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