So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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