Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
