oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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