What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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