Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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