she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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