How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
