You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
