how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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