"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
