I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
