so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
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I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
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dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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