ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
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My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
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I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?