U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.