he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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