You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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