I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Last time i carry you out of a forest
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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