No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
