i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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