I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
