She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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