i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
