thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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