I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
