dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
