I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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