I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
