just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
