I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
After tacos, we're chasing women.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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