i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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