I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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