Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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