So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
