So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i came on her dog
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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