phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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