What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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