I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
