dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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